All I Want For Christmas Is You
by Lightning Lindy
Summary: A look into those 11 Christmases. Addi POV. My first official GA fic! Be kind!COMPLETE!
1. Year 1

Ok… Here I go my 1st official GA Story! Addi POV cause I just love her and I don't care that everyone else hates her! Big Shoutout to Beauty in the Breakdown21, YOU ROCK!

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Year 1

I'll never forget that first Christmas. Everything was perfect. The City couldn't have been more beautiful and we were so in love. This was when he used to look at me as if I was just the greatest thing in the world. I miss that look, more than anyone could imagine.

I woke up at almost 6:00 to see Derek staring at me from the other side of our bedroom.

" Good Morning," he said, smiling.

"Morning, Der," I got out of bed and walked towards him.

" Do you want to see what I got you?" he said as I sat on his knee.

" Sure," I said, not getting up.

" You do realize this requires some moving on your part,"

I smiled, " Too tired. Need coffee." I rested my head on his shoulder.

" That to requires you to move,"

" Well, I guess then we'll just have to stay here for awhile,"

" Or I could do this." He reached his hand under my knees and other on my back and started to stand up.

" Derek!" I exclaimed throwing my arms around his neck. He just smirked and continued to carry me towards the living room, where the tree happened to be. Before he put me down, I leaned in for a big kiss. He tongue entered my mouth and it felt perfect. We just fit. He pulled away with a smug look on his face

" You haven't even seen the gift yet." I playfully slapped him as he put me down. Then, he grabbed my left hand and kissed my wedding ring.

" Merry Christmas, Dr. Montgomery-Shepard."

" Merry Christmas, Dr. Shepard."

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I know it's pretty short, but I think it works that way, ya know? REVIEW! 


	2. Year 3

OMG that Add/Der scene killed me. I literally had to pause the TV, go into the other room, and stand over a garbage can. I get that Derek was trying to be honest, but did you see the look on her face. I just wanted to cry for her. Anyway, remember when Derek said he killed a man, well this is what I think happened.

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**Year 3**

This was the year Derek had a surgery on Christmas Eve. A 60-year-old man had slipped on some ice and had a major inter-cerebral hemorrhage. He hadn't gotten home until 11:30. I was curled up on the love seat of our living room, next to the tree, with a mug of hot coco in my hand when he got home.

He sighed, " I told you not to wait up for me."

" I couldn't help it." I said. He sighed again, running his fingers through his dark curly hair as he sat down on the couch next to me.

" Is your patient ok?"

He shook his head, " No. My hand slipped with the scalpel. He was declared brain dead a half an hour ago."

" Derek, I'm so sorry." I said putting a hand on his knee.

" I killed him, Addie. I killed James Hanson." He said starting to tear.

" Oh Derek." I got up and sat next to him, running my hand up and down his back.

" I made a mistake and killed him."

"Shhh. It's ok,"

" God. I hate this. Why did we become surgeons, Addie?"

" Because we love the feeling of standing in the OR. We love being 10 feet tall and invincible."

He smiled, " Oh, yeah that."

" Come on. Let's go to bed. It's Christmas."

" Actually, 10-9-8-7-," I watched him watch the second hand of the clock ," 6-5-4-3-2-1. Now it's Christmas."

I smiled as the light bulb went off in my head, " Let's open them now."

He laughed, " Whatever floats your boat,"

I got of the couch and pick up the neatly wrapped gift I got him.

" This is yours." He gently began to open the gift. " What are you doing?"

He looked at me cock-eyed, " I'm opening the present."

" Hello. You're supposed to rip the paper."

He chuckled and began to rip the paper off the rectangular box, " That better?"

" Yes," I watched as he opened the present. It was a watch. " You were so mad when your other one broke, I thought you could use a new one."

He got up and gave me a kiss, " Thank you,"

" You're welcome."

" Yours is the one with the white bow," I ripped the paper off and opened the box. It was a ruby, my birthstone, pendant with a trio of diamonds on a gold chain.

" Oh Derek," I got up and gave him a big kiss.

He had a huge smirk on his face," That Kay commercial doesn't lie."

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I love writing fanfics! Review please. 


	3. Year 4: Part 1

Hi guys…sheepishly enters. I'm not very good at this whole updating thing. The writing comes faster than anything, but the actual typing/updating is my issue. Now that that's out of the way, this next year is coming in 2 parts because I just love the suspense. ENJOY!

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**Year 4: Part 1**

"Derek, come on!" I called from our living room couch. " I'm about to start it!"

" Hold your horses, I'm coming," he hoped over the couch and took a handful of popcorn out of the bowl next to me.

" You ready?" I pushed the play button and watched as the credits for 'A Year Without A Santa Claus' flashed on the screen.

" I can't believe your mother let you have this," Derek sighed.

" Well, I did put up a big fight. No way was Elaine getting my favorite Christmas movie." I smiled

" And Jesse's what 4? And Andrea's nearly 2?" he laughed.

" Oh, hush and listen to Mrs. Claus."

_Friends call me Snow Miser. Whatever I touch starts to melt in my clutch. I'm too much. He's Mister White Christmas._

_He's Mister Snow._

_He's Mister Icicle._

_He's Mister Ten Below._

The ring of the phone interrupted our little Eve of Christmas Eve Party.

" Ad, pause it." He got up and answered it.

" Hello. Oh Hi. Dad what? Where is he? What did they say happened? Does he need surgery? We'll be there as soon as possible. I will. Bye"

" What happened?" One-sided conversations like that make me panic.

" My dad had a heart attack. We're going to Hartford."

" Is he ok?"

" He's at Hartford Med. He might need surgery. Start packing."

A half an hour later we were on the road. Derek was still in a state of shock and insisted that he drive.

" Are you sure you want to drive?" I asked again.

" Addison, I'm sure." He called me Addison. I haven't heard him call me Addison in almost six months. I decided to drop it. In attempt to cheer him up, I played 'Jingle Bell Rock', his favorite Christmas tune.

"He's going to be okay, Derek." I said resting my hand on his thigh. He turned to face me and smiled. I just hoped it was true…

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Suspenseful? I think so. Do you think so? Review! Tell me if you think I wasn't suspenseful enough, or if I have you totally hooked onto my every word. Come on you know you want to! 


	4. Year 4: Part 2

Oooo Part 2! Umm if i haven't said this. I don't own Grey's. Sorry to disapiont.

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**Year 4: Part 2**

We arrived at the hospitial at around 6 that night. Derek had called one of his sisters and told them to meet us in the cafeteria.

" Girls, what happened." The Shepherd women were all sitting at the table looking sad.

Donna ,the oldest, turned towards Derek and shook her head, " Derek, he's.." she broke down crying.

" Oh, my God." Derek exclaimed. He started to fall to the ground, but I caught him.

" Derek, I'm so sorry." I told him. " Rita, Donna, Laurie, Kat, and Sam, I'm so sorry."

Derek started to cry. " It's okay. Let it out. I'm so sorry." I joined him. Derek's father, or Shep, had always looked at me as one of his own. He called me Bug. He was so good to me. I couldn't imagine how this could have happened. He was a good man. It wasn't fair. You would've thought that being a surgeon prepares you for this. It doesn't. I just makes it hurt worse.

We stayed in Hartford for a while after that. His funeral was December 28. I held Derek's hand the whole way through with the ocasional comforting squeeze. We both cried during the service. Nothing could've prepared me for this. Nothing could've prepared me for the look on Rita's face as her husband was lowered in his casket. Nothing could've prepared me to see Derek in such pain. Nothing.

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I know really, really short, but I think it works that way. Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, since it was so short,I finished the story up for you guys. How good am I to my readers? I deserve a medal or something. Hope everyone had a nice holiday season. 


	5. Year 9

**Year 9**

" Derek, come join me," I called from inside the shower.

" Addi, I can't. I'd love too, but I just got a 911 from the hosipital."

I poked my head out, " Is everything okay?"

He came over and pecked me on the forehead, " I don't know. I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm sorry."

" Don't be."

" But it's Christmas."

" It's okay, Der. Have fun. Go save lives."

" Ok, Bye."

" Bye Derek. I love you,"

" Love you, too."

I finished my shower and proceeded to call all my family members to wish them a Merry Christmas.

" Hello," my niece, Andrea had answered.

" Hi, Andi. Merry Christmas."

" Merry Christmas, Auntie Addi."

" Did you get anything good for Christmas?"

" Lots of clothes. Thanks for my gift."

" You're welcome. Can I talk to your Mom?"

" Yeah, sure."

" Merry Christmas!" Elaine answered cheerfully.

" Merry Christmas, Sis."

" So did you, you know, yet?"

" No, he was called to the hospital,"

" Darn! So when are you going to tell Mom?"

" Umm, I guess you haven't been over there already,"

" What does that mean?"

" It means I put my sonogram picture in a frame that says 'Baby's First Christmas,"

" Aww!"

" I know, so i just have to wait for him to come home."

" I'm so happy for you, Ad."

" I know. It feels like it's almost too good to be true,"

" If anyone deserves this, it's you guys. You tried so hard for so long."

" I know. I'm still a little nervous on how he's going to react though."

" Are you kidding me? Derek will be estatic,"

" Let's hope so,"

" Alright the gang's calling. I'll talk to you later."

" Bye, Lainey,"

" Bye, Addi,"

Derek didn't come home until almost 3.

" Addi?" he called.

" In the kitchen." I had been making sugar cookies.

" Hi," he came up, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and took a snowman cookie.

" Hello,"

" I'm sorry. Spinal hematoma. The thing was huge and the guy didn't make it off the table,"

" I'm sorry,"

" Yeah. So, what can I do to make it up to you?"

Not freak out at me, I thought to myself. " You can open your gift,"

" Ok." We both walked into the next room and I plucked his gift out from under the tree. He ripped the wrapping paper off, opened the box and looked at me confused.

" It's a...,"

" It's a mini stethescope." He pulled it out of the box.

" Well, thank you, but I'm a little confused."

" You can't give a baby a big stethescope silly."

" Oh, my God. Are you serious?"

" I have never been more serious in my whole entire life."

" Oh, my God. Does it feel like a boy?"

" Umm. Right now it feels like morning sickness."

" Oh, my God," He ran over to my side and gave me a huge hug. I sighed with relief. Elaine was right. Then, he started to talk to my stomach, " Hello in there. This is your Daddy. Me and your mommy are very excited for you to come out of there." I toussled his hair. Everything was going to be okay.

" How long have you known?" This was the happiest I had ever seen Derek in a long time.

" About two weeks. I had a blood test and all that stuff."

" Who else knows?"

" My mother and my sister."

" Ok. Well, let me call my familia." He reached over me to get the reciever off the couch.

" Hey mom. Guess what? Addi's pregnant!" I laughed." Yeah, I know. Thank you. Wait. I want to tell them. Yeah. Give me someone. Hi, Donna. Guess what? Addi's pregnant! Thanks, sis. I know. Yeah. I will. She doesn't know yet. Ok. Yeah Give me Sam. Hi, sis. Guess what? Addi's pregnant!" He continued to do this the rest of his sisters. I just wished his father could have been here to see this.

" I have never been more excited in my whole entire life. I can't wait to share this with you, Ad." I smiled and then started to cry. " No. No. No, don't cry. This is a good thing."

" I know. I was just worried with how you would react and now you're so happy and it's just the hormones." He handed me a tissue. "Thanks."

" I can't believe you were worried about how I would react."

" Well, we are at the high piont of our careers."

" Addi, I could care less right now." He smiled at me and gave me a kiss. " Come on. I think a few of those have your name on them." He pionted to the tree.

Two weeks later, I misscarried. It was awful. I couldn't look at Derek for a while. I thought I had failed him. He was so happy and then, I screwed it up. I just wished she could've stayed with us. I just wished that we could've been parents.

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I know it's sad. I like to write sad things. I love when something I write makes me cry. I like to think of it as if I'm crying, the reader is crying and that means I can really write. What did you think? Did I make you cry? 


	6. Year 10

**Year 10**

At 7:00 Christmas morning, I started to pack my breifcase. This would've been her first Christmas. I couldn't be here. I couldn't stay here and think about how perfect last Christmas was and how this Christmas, she wasn't with us.

" Addi, you're going to the hospital?" I couldn't believe that he was so calm

" Yeah, Cheif's request." I lied.

" Umm when will you be back?"

" I don't know, Derek,"

" Ok,"

" Bye," I waved and walked out the door.

Six hours, 5 patients, and 1 sugery later, the pressure finally got to me. I went into an empty conference room and started to bawl my eyes out. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't put on this happy, I'm-totally-fine look for the world anymore. I just needed to cry about it. I heard the door start to open and there Mark was.

" Hey, are you okay," he asked.

" Yeah, I'm fine," I grabbed a tissue out of the box and blew my nose.

" You should go home. You're in no condition to practice medicine and it is Christmas after all."

" I can't be in that house," I started to cry again. " I can't sit there knowing someone's not there and it's all my fault."

" Addi, it's okay," He came to my side and held me. " It's not your fault. You know that right."

" I can't look at Derek. I failed him. I screwed up the one thing he ever wanted,"

" You didn't screw up. It was an accident. Accidents happen." he stroked my hair.

" I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't be around here. I can't do this anymore. I'm just so lost,"

" Addi, you should go home and talk to him. I'll call you a cab. Come on," Why was he being so good to me?

" I don't know."

" Come on. Go home. It's Christmas," Maybe, he was right. He probably was right. He seemed right.

" Okay,"

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OOO It's Addi and Mark. I didn't want to bring him in, but I had to. I personally hate Mark and the whole Addi/Mark thing, but I still had to bring him in. 


	7. Year 11

This takes place after 2.12. Some Mer bashing and a little cursing. Be prepared.

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**Year 11**

I walked into my apartment, fell to the ground, and proceeded to hit my head against the door. Of course he loved her. How could I have been that stupid? I wanted to cry. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to grab her, and just hit her. Who does she think she is? He's MY husband. MINE. Could she not get that through her thick head? And him. Oh, my God. 'I don't want to hurt you!' was he serious. I mean come on! Did he seriously think I wasn't going to get hurt? HELLO! He just told me he loved another woman. It feels like my heart had been ripped out, stomped on, stiched back up, and stomped on again. I couldn't stay here. Oh God. I started to cry. Didn't he get how hard I've been trying? I needed a sad movie, and some Ben and Jerry's. Lucky for me, there was an unopened pint of Cherry Garcia in the refridgerator. I got up and started to eat it over the counter.Then, someone started to open the door. Damn it! Derek has a key.

" I come in peace," he annouced. He came in with a huge bag of groceries in one hand and a tabby kitten with a big red bow in the other.

" What are you doing here and why do you have a kitty?"

" Well, the cat's yours and I came to apologize."

" Oh, really." I was so mad at him.

" Yes," he reached into the bag and pulled out a huge bag of Jolly Ranchers, my favorite. " I know that probably wasn't the smartest way to tell you that."

" Ya think?" I was still mad at him. Kitty or not.

" Yes. I'm sorry for that, but past experiences have taught me to be honest with people,"

" What do you want me to say Derek? Thank you! I apreciate your honesty? Did you seriously think that you could waltz back in here and expect my total forgiveness?"

He was left speechless. He dropped the cat. " You're right. I shouldn't have come. Enjoy your Jolly Ranchers." He walked towards the door. Now, I felt bad.

" Derek, wait." he turned towards me, a look of utter guilt upon his face. " You can at least stay for the apple ones." I smiled. Niether of us liked the apple ones, but I had to offer him something.

" Are you sure?"

" I can't stay mad at you forever, especially with that hair." He laughed.

" I guess, but can I have the grape ones too?"

" Don't push your luck," The kitten rubbed up against my leg. " Does he have a name?"

" SHE doesn't."

" Oh. Any ideas?"

" It's your cat."

" And I'm asking for your opinion."

" Scarlet," he smiled.

" Scarlet," I picked her up. " What do you think of Scarlet?" She purred.

" I think that's a yes."

" I think so too."

THE END

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Ok I know the kitty was a desperate act, but it was my idea. Any way what do you guys think? I'd love to hear what you think! Come on. REVIEW, PLEASE! 


	8. Year 12

Ok I lied. Chapter 7 wasn't the end. This is. Only because so many people asked for another year and who am I to upset the people?

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**Year 12**

_Ding._

The timer went off. Derek and I sat rested against the bathroom wall watching the cup.

" We should check it, right?" He said.

" Yeah," We both stood planted to the ground.

" You want to check it?" He asked.

" N-No," I said shakily. I wasn't almost certain that it had been a false alarm. I'd been making it all up. I couldn't seriously be...

" You want me to check it?"

" No,"

" So we're just going to stand here,"

" Yeah,"

" You don't want to know?"

" I don't want to get hurt," And I don't want to hurt you.

" Well, we should at least check,"

" Together?"

" Yeah, together," he nodded in agreement. He took my hand and slowly we made our way across the bathroom. I peered into the cup, took the stick out, and it said...

" Does that say?" he asked. I couldn't possibly be...

" Yeah, I think it does," Or maybe I was.

" Are you sure?"

" I think so," Oh, who was I kidding? Of course, I was.

" Wow," he said.

" Yeah, wow." I most definatley was.

" You ready for this?"

" Yeah,"

" Yeah?"

" Yeah," I paused, before asking." Are you ready for this?"

" Yeah,"

" Good,"

"Yeah,"

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Ok, I had two other drafts for this chapter, but I'm really glad I chose this one. It was such a hard choice especially since all of them flowed out of me very nicely. And just for the record i used the word 'yeah' 10 times! REVIEW. 


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